Ode to Judy Garland

Zack Neil
Western Illinois University

"Next year all our troubles will be miles away"

 Holiday lights are coming off doors, trees are being tossed to their wintery graves, and radio stations are turning back to the tunes of the regular year but one song keeps playing in my mind (if you are a Judy Garland fan or have heard one of the many renditions) you may know the song "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"). Particularly this winter break I have been trying to make sense of cover letters, talking to my partner and family about where I am thinking of searching, calling up some contacts, Facebook messaging cohort members etc. I think about the idea that next year this will all be but a distant memory. The job search will happen and I feel comfort knowing that there is no right way to go about it. What would make me feel unprepared is if I did not know myself or my practice moving into this search. Though I know I will never be truly 'finished' in knowing myself, I have confidence that my heart is in the right place in helping students learn (as I'm sure many of my colleagues across the land do too!) 

"Faithful friends who are dear to us gather near to us once more"

Speaking of hearts, I appreciate the gifts of feedback of older practitioners, friends, almost strangers, and professors but what is important to me is knowing that I have people cheering for me to move forward through this search.  I call them 'gifts' because sometimes gifts are broken, do not make sense, are inappropriate, or simply not wanted. Those gifts are as good as the ones that do work and are helpful because they are like reminders of what I truly believe. I think what is important for me is knowing that someone is there with some interest in me and my search. I have learned a lot about myself through two years in graduate school, but one thing I have learned is the power of perseverance and to appreciate the allies that have been with me through thick and thin. Come to think of it, Judy Garland usually played characters where she has needed some sort of help ("Wizard of Oz" comes to mind). It would be lovely if we all had a scarecrow, a man made of tin, and a lion skipping with us through this search. But perhaps those people are there already! Something I wonder for those going through a search is: who is around to give you both a shoulder to lean on and a hand to high five when you do get that job offer?

"We have to muddle through somehow"

This search will be hard and there are helpful people around, but now it is time to not trust the process. To me, the process of resume-writing, going to a placement conference, doing interviews, etc. leaves out a very important ingredient: me. Even when I am sometimes overwhelmed with contrasting perspectives and being overloaded with too much advice, one thing I know is to not only trust this 'process' but to trust myself. Perhaps going to a placement conference is not in the cards for a search or maybe a search right now is not in someone's best interest. The 'process' is kind of like the Wizard of Oz: big and powerful that everyone trusts but sometimes forgets to trust themselves. It is seeing the process and choosing what is in my best interests. And whether that comes from self exploration or hearing thoughts of others, it is about me asking myself the question: What are others telling you to do versus what do you truly believe is best for you?  

"Let your heart be light"

The last thing I would like to add is simple (and what I am currently working on!): do it. Own experiences, values, friends, uniqueness, quirks, flaws, and strengths then do what you need to make this process work for you. If anything, being home with family this break has reminded me that there are greater things in this world than a resume or TPE. I think there is power in being present with the here and now; remembering who and what is important to me because it will ultimately guide what goes into my resume and what happens at TPE. For me, it is a balancing act of reflection and checking off my to-do list for my process. Luckily, I have a few weeks and a few movies of Judy Garland to get me through! So next year, as I haul up the ornaments from the basement and light the candles I may not remember what all transpired in my search- but what is important to me is that I worked hard in my process, thanked those that helped me, and was true to myself throughout.